On 22 March Patti decided she would like to sleep on the ground floor. For several nights now she has said, "this is the bit I don't like" when climbing the stairs, but it was still a surprise to hear her opt for the single bedd in the music room which has been ready for a few weeks. It seems she will sleep downstairs from now on. She had already squirrelled away much of her cosmetic armoury into the downstairs loo, and now it seemed she was going to use it as her regular bathroom. I now sleep in the music room also. Caroline and I rearranged the furniture slightly to make it more convenient for Mum, and installed the recently delivered bed hoop to make it easier for her to get into and out of bed by herself and give her a degree of independence which she is pleased to have.

A couple of days earlier, district nurse Lorraine had come to see Patti whilst she was still in bed upstairs. Afterwards, downstairs, Caroline mentioned our trip to New York and asked Lorraine whether she thought that would be wise. Lorraine said "I wouldn't have thought so". With that and other ideas in mind I phoned Sam at Audley Travel, asking him not to make any further commitments.

Caroline and I took Patti for a meeting with her palliative care consultant at Oakhaven Hospice, Dr Bridget Wood, on 24 March. Dr Bridget was courteous, unhurried, and put Patti at ease. They had a good chat, which was comforting for Mum, who explored her thoughts with Dr Bridget. Key points:
‣ Feeling low sometimes is normal, but if we notice serious symptoms of depression we must seek help and get medication
‣ Each person's glioblastoma is unique, developing in different parts of the brain
‣ Dexamethasone at 2mg per day appears a wise base dosage; do not reduce below that level
‣ To combat somnolence, use 10mg splittable tablets of Tezamepam, and try reducing to 5mg after a bit
‣ New York trip: book, but choose later between (a) full trip, (b) there and back, or (c) cancellation
‣ Dr Sharpe's letters to Oakhaven about Patti` were photocopied for me to take away

As we have been trying to understand the experiences Patti may face a this disease takes its course, Caroline researched the medical literature and came up with three informative papers:
‣ End-of-life with glioblastoma
‣ End-of-life with high-grade glioma
‣ Palliative care considerations

Patti is programmed to do pelvic floor exercises for five minutes, three times a day. We do these together. My pelvic floor now feels fit enough to give birth. Oh, and Patti has been to see the Oakhaven physiotherapist, Janina, to try to get some strength back into her legs and arms.

Other news

On Wednesday 12 March we visited an old friend, Joan Wallrock, for tea in her sunny conservatory. Last year Joan's husband Mike died aged ninety-ish after a very active life, so we had thoughts to share. Joan said: "You never get over it". She has a computer set up in her kitchen with a desktop showing a sequence of hundreds of pictures of a smiling, happy Mike, so she is never alone and never forgets.

The following day Laura Barber took Patti to Lymington for a manicure and pedicure session, which she enjoyed. She still has red toenails and pink fingernails after a fortnight.

On Friday 14 March Patti had nine other golfing ladies here for a picnic bring-and-share lunch, whilst I went round to the Barbers for a G&T, New Zealand Sauvignon, crab salad, Burgundy and Gorgonzola; returned home blotto. Mum was looking splendid in her red and black dress, and wearing her furry hat. She had had a lovely time.

Here is Patti in our sunny conservatory eating her now regular soouflé cheese omelette on the following day. Notice the pretty fingernails!

On Thursday 20 March, Patti's sister June and arrived with her daughter Julia. It was good for the sisters to see each other. Mum was too tired and weak to attempt the postulated trip out to Exbury for lunch, so June sand Julia went for a sandwich in Hythe. On returning they found Mum asleep, so spent some time downstairs with us. Perhaps around three o'clock, they went up to say goodbye to Mum, and left. Then Ryc the Vic came round, bringing his copy of The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri JM Nouwen, for me to read. He and I had previously discussed Nouwen. Caroline and Mum each had a look at it whilst I got on with the supper. By 5:30 the stew was in the oven with jacket potatoes. Later I sat down alongside a cool Becks carefully set out for me by Caroline on a little side table. Just the job! Around ten past seven we all sat down to supper. Then we sat round the fire till about ten, before going to bed. On her way to bed, Mum tried a few chin-ups!

On Friday 21st, Patti showered and got herself decked out in her finery, had lunch of the usual cheese omelette (provided by Caroline) and Shloer, and then set off up the lane with sticks and Caroline for her 2:30pm appointment with Marius Sheepers, her dentist, at a quarter past two. After the dentist, Caroline brought her MX5 round with the hood down to collect Mum, who asked to be taken for a spin, so they went to Lepe and sat by the sea with the tide high, heater on. Back home by four, more rest in the conservatory, and then by the fire till supper was ready at ten past seven. Mum chose that we have the meal in the three separate courses in an unusual order, French style as she called it: main (risotto), followed by dessert (blackberry yoghurt) and finally salad. We washed this down with white wine from the Pays d'Oc.

Saturday 22nd was a fine sunny day, so we went for lunch at the High Corner Inn, but the trip was not much fun: too far to drive, food indifferent and loos inadequate. We've decided that when we go out again for lunch our restaurant must be really sophisticated. So on the following Monday we left around midday for lunch at the Master Builder's, Buckler's Hard.

Meanwhile, that Sunday, Patti was awake in good time for breakfast-in-bed and a trip to St Thomas's Church in Lymington with Caroline, Dan and Katie. Dan and ten-year-old daughter Katie had travelled down from Surrey for the day. They were all home by midday and Dan started to cook, with team members Caroline and Katie. We sat down to a lovely family Sunday lunch in the conservatory at 3:15 or so, and lingered over that for a couple of hours. Dan and Caroline cooked roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, cauliflower, leeks and peas; Katie made rhubarb crumble (rhubarb from the garden) which she served with ice cream.

Enough. Time to sign off till we get back from (or don't go to) New York.